How to hold a family meeting about money

Thanksgiving, Christmas or Easter are all good times for a family meeting to talk about money. What better gift to give!

These meetings have become a tradition in our family: Multiple generations coming together to share something more substantial than a meal. And more meaningful than idle chit-chat.

Family meetings aren’t always fun and the topics discussed aren’t always pleasant. But I can guarantee you’ll find the experience rewarding.

Where do you start?

The concept of a family meeting is simple. It involves bringing multiple generations of a family together to share their thoughts on money matters. Ideally, all family members should attend. Even if some of them are too young to participate, they can still learn important life lessons just by listening.

Face-to-face is ideal. But if that’s not possible, you can do it over:

• Skype
• The phone
• Email
• Text
• Social media

What topics should we cover?

That depends on many factors, such as the ages, life stages and marital status of the people in the room. Here are some topics you might want to discuss.

For all family members:

• Who has registered as an organ donor?
• Who has an up-to-date will?
• Where does everyone keep their important papers, account information and passwords?

For retirees and pre-retirees:

• How do you feel about home care versus assisted living?
• What are your advance directives?
• Do you have any preferences about religious rites for your funeral?

For parents and young adults:

• Should new parents purchase life insurance and critical illness insurance?
• Will your employer-provided health insurance cover your children if they go off to college?
• Who will take care of the children if they lose their parent(s)?

The benefits of talking about money with your family

The purpose of these meetings is to come up with ideas or suggestions so you can reach agreements. Only one rule applies during these family meetings: no criticism is allowed. Try to start with lighter subjects before tackling the main issues.

It is not recommended that professionals—lawyers, notaries, doctors, financial planners—attend these meetings. Unless they are family members. But you can, and should, consult the professionals later. A verbal agreement made at a family meeting isn’t binding. It won’t be recognized by a court, an intensive care unit, a bank or an investment company.

So, professionals can help make sure that everything is done properly. Do you want to give someone else the legal authority to make important life decisions? About health or financial matters, for example. You’ll need proper legal documentation. In Quebec, that may mean:

• a will,
• a power of attorney,
• a protection mandate.

For a more united family

Can the family meeting be combined with a social event? Yes and no. They can be on the same day. This allows the greatest number of participants to be present. But a family meeting isn’t a party. Consider setting a specific start time for the meeting to make a clear distinction between the two.

Let people know you’ll be having a serious conversation about important issues. And, of course, you want everyone to be on top of their game. So, you may want to hold the meeting BEFORE enjoying a hearty meal.

Our family meetings have changed over the years. These days, we’re talking about the concerns of family members ranging in age from 20 to 80. And we don’t all live on the same continent. But our family money meetings help keep us all on the same page. The family that talks money together stays together!