“What you’re feeling has a name”: How to navigate diabetes distress

More than 3 million Canadians are living with diabetes, and if you're one of them, you know the reality: checking your numbers, planning every meal, managing medications, budgeting for out-of-pocket costs…

It’s a lot. In fact, you may be making as many as 300 decisions per day just about your diabetes care. That's exhausting – and the emotional weight is just as real. Many people feel overwhelmed or judged by others.

Here's what to keep in mind: you're not alone, what you're experiencing is common, and there are concrete steps you can take to feel better.

The emotional weight of diabetes – and 3 ways to lighten it

“At first, after a diagnosis, many people feel shocked, and can struggle to come to terms with it," says Joy Sereda, Registered Psychotherapist and Senior Consultant for Mental Health & Well-being at Sun Life. 

"It's not only realizing ‘I have this condition’. It’s also realizing how diabetes is going to impact, and touch, every part of your life."

This can show up as anxiety, denial, or both. Some people dive into research, falling down rabbit holes of information. Others may shut down completely, avoiding the topic because it feels too overwhelming. Either way, the result is often the same: feeling scared, self-critical, and isolated.

Then, as the day-to-day reality sinks in, many people begin to feel the mental and emotional toll. It can look similar to depression – feelings of helplessness, withdrawal, avoidance. There's a clinical term for it: diabetes distress. And it affects more than half of people living with diabetes.

But there’s good news. “The key thing to know is that you’re feeling this way because of the emotional and psychological impact of managing diabetes,” Sereda says. “That is diabetes distress, and it’s very responsive to support and treatment.”

There are things you can do right away, to start feeling better.

Where to start: Finding calm and confidence with self-awareness

Start with self-awareness – you don't need to change everything at once.

"An important part of what I do is helping people slow down and recognize what thoughts are coming up," Sereda says. "What beliefs are showing up? How are we reacting to them? Some of those automatic thoughts and assumptions may not be accurate or helpful."

Pay attention to how you talk to yourself. Are you being self-critical? Notice any patterns in your emotions and reactions; and take a moment to reflect on how you tend to interpret other people’s words or actions. As Sereda says, “Ask yourself, is this judgment or is this a lack of understanding?"

Self-awareness is empowering. It helps you feel more grounded and in-control.

You can start with a few small, practical strategies:

• When you’re feeling overwhelmed, pause for a moment and take a few slow, steady, deep breaths.
• When you’re being self-critical, try instead to be as kind and compassionate to yourself as you would be to someone you care about. 
• When your thoughts feel rushed or intense, pause and ask: “Are these thoughts helpful right now?” If the answer is no, bring your attention back to the present moment. Take one slow breath or notice something around you to help create a little space from those unhelpful thoughts.

Your next step: Build your village

Your support team might include:

• a doctor, nurse or health professional who listens; 
• a mental health counsellor or therapist; 
• and a trusted friend or family member.

You can also reach out to peer support groups and community organizations like:

• Diabetes Canada
• Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA)
• Here 24/7
• YMCA

Sometimes there's one key team member missing: a financial advisor.

According to recent research, one in three people say living with diabetes also makes it hard to save for the future, and 28% of people with diabetes have delayed major life goals because of their condition. Plus, only 10% of people with diabetes know about available tax benefits.

Ultimately, Sereda says, your physical, emotional, and financial health are all interconnected. 

"Sometimes, it’s easy to lose sight of the whole person. When that happens, I gently point out: We connect with health professionals for physical and mental health concerns. So if you’re feeling stressed or anxious about your financial health, connecting with a financial professional just makes sense."

The most important thing? You don't have to navigate your diabetes journey alone, and every step you take towards building your support team is a step toward feeling better.